Monthly Archives: November 2010

In Which I Make a Fool of Myself

Sister: What’s Hitler’s least favorite planet? Me: Jew-Uranus? Mom: Zach, think about it. [pause] Me: Oh.

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I Can Live With That

I was a little upset at first. I mean, obviously people are going to think I’m a showboat, and a little bit of a prick. But then I thought… that’s me. I said those things, I did those things. I … Continue reading

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A Moment of Indulgent Pretense

You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino’s new novel,┬áIf on a winter’s night a traveler. Relax. Concentrate. Dispel every other thought. Let the world around you fade. Best to close the door; the TV is always on in the … Continue reading

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Coming to Grips

I think the worst part of a breakup is coming to terms with one’s shortcomings. In the past, I have willingly brushed these off as incompatibilities, or as another’s biased view of me, one that I could explain away if … Continue reading

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Inaugural Stew

A few things about beef stew: 1. It is always easy to make. I used this recipe, which, like all stew recipes, is basically “Brown beef in pan, add everything else unless it will get soggy if overcooked, cook for … Continue reading

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The Twinkie Diet

Making rounds on the internet today is an article about how a professor lost 27 pounds by eating nothing but food available at a 7-11. Not only was the food pre-packaged and processed, but it’s all food that are diet … Continue reading

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I’ve tried stand-up comedy before, which ranks among my top-five most stressful experiences. It’s hard to stand in front of people, talk into a microphone, and not melt into a pile of stammering butter. And then you have to be … Continue reading

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